You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
