just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
