just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
