i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
