His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
