she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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