let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
