We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
