sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
