I wish i was in the wii world.
smell my finger.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
