Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize