please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize