Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
