big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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