Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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