hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
