it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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