One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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