sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
