You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
