I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
