Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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