Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
