alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
