I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
