ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
