You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
