just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize