What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
