my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize