btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
