well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize