If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I came so hard my ears popped.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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