The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
