Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
