Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
