I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
