A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
