what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
