i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
