Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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