i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
