I bet he comes in French.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
