I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
