I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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