i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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