sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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