i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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