if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
only if we run a train.
done.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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