just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
