3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
