Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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