i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
