Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He better not be in your backpack
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
