On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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