So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
