If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
