I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So vagazzling was a success
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize