If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
